Thursday, December 27, 2007

ESPN: Bucs, White, Sapp and Dunn

No, this is not a new law firm.

Warren Sapp Is Generous

Warren Sapp was visited by three ghosts last Sunday, and they all took the form of 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. He was so moved by their messages of "shut the fuck up" and "stop arguing with officials" that he left the game to contemplate his place in life. He returned several days later and announced that he was going to donate $75,000 to the NFL for them to buy Christmas turkeys for poor families and also to help cure Tiny Tim (Dwight).

In other ex-Bucs-now-with-awful-awful-teams news, Warrick Dunn does not want to retire with the taste of the 2007 season in his mouth.

"I can't go out like this," Dunn told the paper. "This is not the way I think anyone should go out. Any guy whose ever thinking about retiring and had to go through a situation like this, I don't think this is the way you should go out. You need to go out on better terms. I'll definitely come back next year and play football."

Mike Singletary is said to be one of the top candidates for the Falcons' head coaching job, meaning that Dunn would be coming back to another rookie head coach, except this one would be a defensive specialist. Wheee!!

Finally, in news that Buc fans have known for months but the national media is just now hearing about, Greg White had a front page piece on ESPN a couple days ago. Turns out people think he's pretty good. Who knew? Oh yeah, WE did. Len Pasquarelli must have lost a bet to write this article because he obviously didn't enjoy it. He takes every opportunity to downplay White's actual talent.

But there are a lot of players in the NFL, many of them with significantly higher profiles and fatter paychecks, who wouldn't mind copying the success of the modestly talented White.

An overnight sensation five years in the making, White ranks among the season's best stories, perhaps the player in the league who has come the closest in 2007 to literally maxing out his talents.

Jeez, Len, it's not like the guy is a one-armed midget or something. He does have some natural physical talent. Oh, and you spelled Jon Gruden's name wrong. Asshat.

Thanks for the nice read,


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